Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Adventures of a Single Lady: The Kelly Chapman Diaries - 4/26/09

As a "kick-off" to my new fan page, I hope to share my journey with everyone. Both my journey as a single lady and my journey in music, while getting your feedback and input along the way. 

In addition, as I travel the country, I meet so many men and women who are willing to share their stories. It felt like I could put my pajamas on, sit by the fireplace and chat until morning sometimes. So please feel free to share your stories also!

If you read my book, you know that I am pretty honest. So I hope my transparency will be helpful and enjoyable for my readers. 

Let’s get started:

So I tried the online thing for a while - what an adventure! So many people looking for sex. I mean, since when did you need to pay money to find someone to sleep with!! Is it that hard to find sex?? Whew!! 

On a different note, I am still waiting on that good man who I talk about in my book “Real: The Truth about Being Single with Kelly Chapman". And it has been a wild ride! High days and low days. But what I have become through this entire journey is even stronger and more resolved to wait for God to send the right man in my life. I thank Him for moving the knuckleheads away before they could break my heart… That in ITSELF has been the biggest blessing in the last year. 

So, I read a guys profile online. I shared it with one of my girlfriends and she said, “Who would want a guy like that??” I said, “uhh, ME”. She said, “I don’t want a man washing my hair!” I replied, “The things he lists are things that to me, signify true intimacy.” It is not all about 'bumping and grinding'. It’s about knowing my needs and being there for me in every way. I’m talking about 'getting in my head'.” She disagreed. 

I shared it with a male friend, and he said, “That is all lies. He doesn’t do all of that!” 

Hmmm… I never found out if it was or wasn’t a lie. But I will say this: it made my day to read about a man who really knows what a woman wants. 

Or at least what Kelly Chapman wants. 

Take a read, and I would love your feedback:

“Okay ladies I will start this off by telling you what I am. I am the man who will... (deeeeeep breath) Be there in a pinch, support your goals, change the diapers, (even yours) defend your honor, accept your mother, (and maybe your cat if you have one) change your oil, take out the trash, keep the lights on, wash your car, open your door, (to get in and out) blow on your scrapes if you fall, (doesn't that feel better?) attend your church, (you're pushing it) listen to you, (no, really!) enquire about your day, practice foreplay, accept your pouch, (if you have one) kill the spiders, fill the gas tank while you relax inside, drive the car, (even to the mall) massage your neck, rub your back and your feet, wash your hair, wash you, (sloooowly) cook (breakfast and I'm a master on the grill) aaaaaaand be faithful!

I will lay this out in its entirety because time is so precious and I am not into wasting yours or mine. I am looking for a woman who is... Independent, funny, assertive, sweet, a cook (pleeeeeease know how, a woman who can't cook is like a man who can't fix anything) adventurous, intelligent, humble, honest, (with yourself first, then me) SINGLE!!!!, (no legally seperated, special friends or emergency d***s in a jar please) mentally stable, (I bust your windows is just a song ladies!) attractive, (if only in your own mind) motherly, (believe me it helps) employed, (no elaboration needed) and last but not least, beautiful. (on the inside)

Okay here is what I am not. (not so deeeep breath) I am not... Selfish, a lier, (please accept the truth) game player, bearer of bad credit, (above 750, wow!) insecure of you no matter how successful you are, on the down-low, broke, full of crap, living at home, fat, violent, childish, deadbeat father, aaaaand unfaithful! (That about covers it)”


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Thoughts? Is this the truth or lies? Am I the only woman on the planet who wants this? Please share - thanks and have a blessed week!

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